TheStrangerPage Vs. 40 year old Bouncer…I.Q. of 12

No. Nothing violent happened with the exception of a feind being deprived of their coffee. That feind is our representative. Tonight he was supposed to be working at The Airliner Club. But alas. A big balding ape man with a security jacket demanded that he pour out his precious coffee.

 Yes. We know. He WAS an Apeman. And yes, maybe he didn’t realize that our representative was there to WORK and not PARTY. Maybe the Apeman has a wife and a FAMILY to support… (Though it is the Official opinion of that an Apeman should not be allowed to procreate. Especially with female HUMANS) And while it is a fact that we “do not pay (his) bills”… We wonder how important it was that his coffee be POURED OUT and our respresentative be deprived of his life-sustaining FUEL..

 Before we go on, we’d like to announce that this particular respresentative HAS BEEN TERMINATED. And a restraining order has been placed. He is a DANGEROUS man. We applaud the Apeman’s decision and admire his vigilince. We are sure he will go on to bigger and better things. A better place in life. Most certainly.

 Let the mistakes of one puny, disposable representative not reflect poorly upon, El Bombastico, El Brujo Extrano, or any of our many affilaites.

 Once again, we’d like to give a silent round of applause the The Apeman. We can officially thank him for getting rid of a hardworking group of people who put in HOURS of work every day to get people to come into The Airliner… Wait. That’s not good. The representative could’ve just bought coffee from the bar, right? No? Oh.The thermos was filled with whiskey, right? No?

 Well, luckily the Apeman has all sorts of psychological tactics. If THE OWNER finds out he let us have coffee there he’d be fired. Wait, he said the OWNER wasn’t there. I can email him if I like, right? Yeah. Try Googling the Airliner. You’ll get alot of praise on Yelp. No? Oh. Well, you at least keep updates of who’s gonna be playing and when, right? No? Updated social networking? No? God damn. What DO they have? A huge pile of garbage on the backstage. That really gets people in the mood to buy art. And the lighting. Nice. Oh, it’s like a dimly lit old folks home? Oh.

 Okay. So basically, they should be treating people with more respect there. This is coming from someone who has a decent sized mailing list of artists and art fans alike and uses it VERY often to advertise their shitty bar.

 Now I’m confused and should probably edit this thing. Fuck it. The security guy who works there on the weekend is an asshole. I hope The Airliner gets their shit together because it’s an awesome place with a lot of potential. Assholes like that drag things down dramatically. Drop your fucking catchphrases like “Are you gonna pay MY bills?” and get a little courtesy. It’s folks like us (the artists, the musicians, the promoters) who are gonna make that place awesome. And make it money. So YES. I do pay your bills, fuck face.

PS: Would anybody buy and ApeMan t-shirt? We’re at least gonna make some for all the Slaves at You wanna get in on this?


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One Response to TheStrangerPage Vs. 40 year old Bouncer…I.Q. of 12

  1. Fenntura says:

    I’d buy an ape man shirt.

    P.S. Next time, slip him a banana.

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